MiniWhois

I realise that I inadvertently launched a mini-Whois challenge, according to a couple of anonymous voices. I tagged five people in this post, of which three have already responded. Some of the more junior observers were wondering who these people are.

Well, search the blogosphere for responses to the memetic tagging and you will find them. You would thus have some findings to call your own...

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Note: Actually, I'm happy that those who have responded acknowledged their tags. It shows that they more-or-less accept those tags as identifiers.

Whois 010

Punning will be my downfall someday. Already, it is used as a benchmark to determine whether something could or could not have been said by me. It leads to all kinds of awkward difficulties, both when it is indeed I who have done something and when it is not me at all. Well, this time, Mark x-ed the spot. Aha! Gotcha! And I am not going to say anything else about puns in any language or across languages. I leave that to my sister the linguist. But here's another, in which you just need to know where to look...

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In the corners you might miss the inconspicuous as it buries its head in some arcane tome. But the inconspicuous is just as likely to miss you. It is a matter of fortune. If one of you startles the other, chaos and vast amusement normally ensue, in a curious dance somewhat reminiscent of something by Orff. You will see the inconspicuous produce a conspicuous smile. It is almost like something from a Colgate advertisement, in flavour if not in form. The whole package is compact, and there are muscles you never thought to look for, lulled by the sensibility of appearance and the general illusion of utter sanity. But how many other people laugh backwards past their teeth? And how many would think of playing a LAN game in reverse order?

Who is this?

Whois 009

Well, that last round was pretty entertaining, I think. But it was also quite tiring for many of us. The next Whois challenge will be a lot more sedate, or at least appear to be...

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This cat sits in the middle of the storm, quiet and decisive. Occasionally, the creature moves, plays with a small ball of something hard, bats at it with a curved hook of the paw, returns to a state of rest. Newton would rethink his laws of motion if he saw the effortless change of state. The good-looking animal is a reticent orchestrator of action, forever scouting ahead in the urban landscape, restless and restful at once. This cat sat in the mat, and perhaps upon it, and continues to do so. It is amazingly humble for one who might be proud. But it's not that sort of beast; it is a child of fortune, maker of plays and expert at balancing – one who rules despite being far too nice for it.

Who is this?

Crypticism

Yes, the Avenging Angel of the Archdiocese, twice referred to as Trivandrum in this blog, was the subject of the last challenge.

Unfortunately, sometime during the thrashing handed out to Aston Villa by the Red Man last night, I fractured my right small toe into a couple of separate little pieces. Ouch. Grounded, moody and not very inclined to sit at a computer, reduce my circulation, and lose the toe altogether.

That toe seems like a metaphor for working life.

Whois 008

It's been a long time. I've realised that sometimes the answers are too obvious because the people are too obvious. I mean, there are people who would be your first guess not because of the clues but because they're the sort of people you would guess at random. So I resorted to obfuscation, occultation and obliquity in my quest for the ideal frame-up; but time and chance happened to them all. I am going to try a new tack. If you can solve any one of these riddles, it will point you straight at the subject of this Whois challenge. Or at least, give you a very good clue.

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On seven hills this city stands,
Archdiocese over two lands;
Holy and eternal city,
But not Rome and more's the pity.

The eyebrows are a giveaway,
The shadowed eyes that see not day;
One walks the night by internet
And sells one's stuff for free I bet.

The wild Tibetan yak appears,
To the Skinner it now endears;
This is the offspring of that pair,
The one of convoluted air.

Look out for the Chinese scholars,
Those with sense but fewer dollars;
Cohabitation saves the day
At the impromptu loading bay.

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Yes, I'm aware that this is all very peculiar, and that it's somewhat less than 500 characters in length. I'm in that kind of mood though. Heh. Oh yes, before you make a guess, make sure that all four stanzas are fulfilled! Oddly enough, the clues in the first and third verses have already been referred to somewhere else in this blog.

Allusion & Encryption

It hasn't escaped the perspicacious among you that there is a frequent use of coded messages in this blog. This is important; you might say, it is 'key'. You cannot always tweak the beard of the rich and powerful unless you make it not worth their while to crack the code. After all, what you say is what you say; what it means is open to interpretation.

In the past, principalities and powers, thrones and dominations, the hierarchy of the Silver City – all these and more – have reacted and overreacted to messages perceived as originating from this locus. At the same time, people like those named (or cryptonymously mentioned) in places like this have worried that I have conveniently (for me) or inconveniently (for others) a profusion of secret identities. This is very amusing. At last count, I was thought to have almost 40 different pseudonyms! And that was on the Internet alone...

So what I'm going to do in this post is to propose a kind of mini-Whois challenge. I've mentioned a few people by codenames in my blog. Does everyone know who they are? Here are the rules:

1. Draw up a list of codenames in this blog. This list must have at least five names on it.
2. Identify the people these codenames belong to, unequivocally and accurately. Mark them as such on the list.
3. The one with the highest percentage of correct answers wins. The number of correct answers will be used to break ties.

Ah, that's too easy, you say? Well, here's a challenge: email the list to my gmail account, the one beginning with 'a'. You know which one, don't you? You don't? Heh, that's why it's a challenge...

Winner gets bragging rights. And I have also decided that part of my library is up for grabs.

Misdirection

Hmmm, the latest Whois challenge was perhaps a tad too cryptic. While Bach made a good analysis (a very well-reasoned attempt!), he was defeated in detail. The Dancer has a habit of getting the tough ones right, though.

Somebody has a birthday which is inextricably intertwined with the nationalism of his (yes, his) home country. That someone also shares a blog; for what cause he and his (larger, slouchier) associate stand together, we do not explicitly know. Debating, angst, and the confessions of a particular saint – these are the marks of a particularly named person. Oh yes, divination by watching flights of birds is called augury. Heh.

At this point, I am going to hang onto the next Whois challange because I have real work to do. I do enjoy watching people think in detail, but you have to prepare to get it wrong sometimes before you get it right. Thanks very much for playing, and it won't be long before the next one is up.

Whois 007

It's funny what you remember and when you remember it. There was an odd-shaped classroom tucked away in the corner of the level. There would always be people who climbed out of the window. There was always someone who would be sweating in the air-conditioning, and the marks of a football on the white walls. And even if it turned out to be ten years later, twenty years later, thirty years later, these things would still not really have changed.

The last Whois challenge drew fewer responses and yet more hits than any other. Was it that obvious? I suppose it was. Everyone seems to remember that first line of Danny Boy, "... the pipes, the pipes are callin'..." Yes, it's a very bad pun, almost arbitrary. The other guy, as some people will know him, was identified by a 'toitle' and manically highlighted by a dancer. But what of this person?

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One might get the impression that this paleface speaks with forked tongue, judging from an illustrious career in circumlocutory extravagance. From a distance one might think that the long-term partnership formed with a significant other would make them look like a mad scientist and Frankenstein's monster – but neither is mad, neither is a monster, and both have chosen not to be scientists. Instead they stand together for some unidentified cause. In the end the habit of confession marks this person, for it is inextricably inclined with nationalist tendencies and the moment of parturition. The creature is undoubtedly intelligent, but why the angst, why the terrible moments of emotionality? Why the criminalisation and incriminations? These things portend the future in a flock of birds...

Who is this?

Whois 006

Today we sat in a half-dark room, large and airy and cool. We thought of who we would remember, of the people that we would keep in mind for the next thirty years before the sunset. And it was a whole barrel-of-monkeys kind of fun. I was looking at the subjects of my last few challenges, and I was thinking to myself, "The people I remember and the people I put on this ballot and the people in my Whois challenges are all not quite the same people... how odd!"

Well, as someone with great perspicacity remarked, the last few lines do indeed give away the identity of the subject. What was I thinking of? Well, the problem is that I'm an acoustic thinker, and I really do hear this song when I see that person. She is a lot like a near-adult version of that particular animal too - a noble creature indeed!

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What is the nature of humanity? What lies beyond the historical underpinnings of the world we live in? What questions must we grasp the import of, and wrestle to the earth? Sigh. This particular creature is adept at asking and tentatively answering such questions. With a superficially benign appearance (the mistaken impression of most, because of a lack of obvious malignancy) our friend is known to produce insights designed to shock and amaze, all in the most deadpan of voices and the tiniest twitches of a decorated lip. Virtually transparent, which is to say really opaque, this compact and seductively stealthy individual cruises arbitrarily through the ecosystem of the intellectual arena like an orca amongst dolphins. Sometimes one thinks of the old 1910 hit song, Danny Boy.

Who is this?

Whois 005

In the last episode, many people were torn between deciding that the description was insulting and deciding that it was endearing. Some people taught it was a fair description of... the wrong person. And all I can say is that the French view of life is indeed the right one. And I think she's a wonderful person to have around.

Today's episode is unlikely to be as unlikely. Heh.

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On first acquaintance, you might just imagine her as a Mary Poppins type of schoolteacher. She might even seem shy to you. But behind that demure façade is a... well, demure sort of person with a very powerful brain. They say that keeping track of moving spherical objects while remaining resolutely planted in position helps. She has iron discipline and long limbs; another look and you might think of her as a policewoman, the long arm of the law. On your third look, you might decide that she could just as well be on the other side. She’s a consummate actress, in other words, who can be naughty while remaining perfectly decent. You'd have to decide between guns and roses. For some reason, every time I look at her, I think of being born free. That’s the way to go!

Who is this?

Whois 004

Sometimes in the midst of all the devastation you forget the people who were nice to you and who you were nice to, and yet at the most absurd times, all is remembered and forgiven. And perhaps you could have been, perhaps you were, friends after all. Once in a while, I get that feeling with these people who have suffered, striven, succeeded with me.

You see, the secret is that I know you in at least one way. I know your names, that magical essence of being; I knew you before I saw you, in most cases. Somehow, I ended up being guardian of the files, the rows, the columns of your existence in the College of Wyverns.

And here is the next Whois challenge. Did you know I knew? And what did I know?

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At first glance, this slender lady is wary, tentative, wry; at second glance, you find that most of the time she's just having you on. Thinks deep thoughts but would prefer not to, just in case she ends up thinking like that son of a Tibetan yak. She's not quite Elektra: Assassin but she occasionally has dreams along those lines. Often found with another interesting person of totally different appearance, but it's hard to tell which one is the lead and which one is the sidekick. Then again, if she could give you a sidekick, she might. Vulnerable to misfortune (and Harry Potter) but a lot tougher than you think, she also seems to be linked to Manchester City. And maybe Stalin. Has been called a foxy mama in a slinky dress; will try not to invite such comparisons in future. Perhaps.

Who is this?

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Note: It always seems dangerous to do this kind of thing. If the person concerned feels this should be edited somewhat, do let me know via email. You know where to find me. Despite the fact that I don't tag your blog. Heh.

Lunch

I found myself lunching with two old friends. It happens with increasing frequency, as if the forces of chaos which surround us are beginning to squeeze us together. It is almost as if the universe is telling us to stay together because a three-fold cord is not easily broken.

Speaking of which... we've had three challenges so far, and all three have been answered admirably well. Yes, yes, yes. It was also rather funny to watch the victim of the second challenge come in with an accurate answer for the third. Almost like revenge. Heh.

Today's challenge will be a little different for now. Can anyone say what these three characters – 001, 002 and 003 – have in common? Most persuasive (i.e. unambiguous and verifiable) answer wins. And oh yes, for now I will have to say that the young incarnation of J S Bach has been most assiduous in hunting down every secret reference. Haha, yet another secret reference to chew on!

Whois 003

Someone asked why I haven't done a Whois challenge whose subject is female. Well, in our unique circumstances, I figured a 1:6 ratio might be appropriate. Then again, it might be because I don't know enough of the ladies. I mean, this is so bad that if I were to say, "Her eyes are not green," everyone would know who I meant.

But here is #3!

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Clearly gifted while denying it most directly, he is a shaggy beast who can be picked out in any line-up. A somewhat patriarchal demeanour may someday emerge from this man with lyrical and violent tendencies. This sharp, proud and agile mind is also good at trash-talking, nonsense, argument, and anything verbal (or is that oral?), while affecting a nonchalant, understated and underachieving demeanour in class. A leggy fellow, he is now often seen heading for the house of God where he apparently worships full-time. Perhaps his naughty-boy demerit point days are done. I doubt it though; headstrong intelligence in denial is rare and will make an impression. Until then, he will continue to make music, laugh, dream and imagine a world where guys can be themselves.

Who is this?

Whois Explosion

There was a period last night in which this humble blog got 120 hits in 3 hours. Urgh. What have I done?

It's interesting to see that the guys got it right this time. As A E Housman wrote, "And malt does more than Milton can / To justify God's ways to man." Not to mention that you all know where to find this particular Milton. You're a tough audience to be doing this for. I will have to maintain this kind of standard...

The next Whois challenge will be up in the morning – well, the morning in NYC anyway.

Good day!

Whois 002

In my capacious database is a file array containing statements about everybody I know. Some of these statements are untested or unproven. Some are distressingly or wonderfully true; some are false but interesting, and treated as common knowledge. This all calls into question the meaning of the word 'knowledge', but that is quite another topic for quite another day.

The first Whois, 41 points and all, is a fairly well-known individual. The girls know him best, it seems.

And here is the second Whois challenge...

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This gentleman reminds me of some sort of ninja ferret, except that his musical ability and raw creativity far exceed that of most ninjas, ferrets or ninja ferrets. I've heard him blowing his own trumpet a fair amount, but apart from this, he is a decent individual who is great to have as a friend. Especially when you think you have just invented 'emo' and are about to slit your wrists. Then he comes along and you realise it could be worse; you could be fixated on doom-struck elf-lords out of Tolkien. Amidst his slightly curly hair, you might look for pointy ears in vain. I keep thinking of asking him to watch his back, but he normally does anyway... Intense, passionate and aesthetic, he would be a Pinot Noir if he were a wine. The poet says that beer is better than him, though.

Who is this?

The Whois Challenge

Yesterday I posted the first Whois challenge. The rules of a Whois challenge are simple: you define a person you know in 150 words or less, and in 800 or fewer characters including spaces. This is because the average word is about five letters long but you probably need a higher average length to make things sound better. Your definition is parametric in nature; it's not meant to be explicitly definitive, but to allow people a good chance to guess what should be a reasonably unambiguous answer to the question, "Who is this?"

The format is simple: you have one paragraph. It should be aesthetically written to disguise the person it describes while making it clear that this person is unique. After that one paragraph, which must meet the rules requirements, you add the words, "Who is this?" sit back and wait for responses. If the responses are all the same, then you've probably given away too much...

The first one I posted was pretty easy to many who have read it. However, there is another aspect to the Whois challenge. It's also a way of describing a person in a way which people have seldom or never seen before. You're giving free (hopefully, free, positive and unembarrassing) publicity to someone you know.

I'll post the second Whois challenge soon. We'll see how many got the first one right, and why.

Whois 001

At some point in my life I did warn the audience of my urge to write pen-sketches of the many people I had come to know. I realised that I knew many of them well enough for a description to reveal too much. So I will confine myself to the cryptic and the vague. If you recognize yourself here, don't give yourself away... and if you're someone else, give it a guess.

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He's tall, has always been a little lean, and dark – not the midnight coffee-grounds kind, but the hot chocolate kind, with a slightly darker streak. A man of many talents, too – I am confident that he has never been a Spetsnaz assassin, but he has been many other things: sportsman of the elliptical, leader of the incurable, drinker of the unimaginable, scholar of the interminable, accompaniment to the ineffable. Mixed ancestry leads him to believe in the inherent elitism of the island races, but not as much as you would think, and perhaps not of the race you think. He seems to have spent part of his life trying hard not to be like his sister, who is another pretty unique and alarming character from a nearby tower.

Who is this?