Whose World? What Cup? (Day 25)

This is the last day of the 2010 World Cup. Lots has been said about how neither of the two teams, the Dutch and the Spanish, have contested this final fixture before. For me, I think the interesting thing is that this is the first time we've seen two monarchies contend on the field of battle for a very long time, and certainly, the first time at the World Cup.

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At the end of a nervy first half in which Mark van Bommel was lucky not to already be off, the score is 0-0. Arjen van Robben has been his usual threatening but sometimes lazy self on the right, and the Dutch have somehow contrived to look both awful and yet dangerous. Spain always look good in possession, but being tackled painfully a few times seems to have slowed them down a bit. Not a nice half at all. Rather ungentlemanly in spots. Perhaps the main talking point was a Dutch attempt to return the ball to the Spanish, almost ending up as an accidental goal!

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Amd here we are at the end of extra time, and Spain have won 1-0 thanks to a neatly taken goal by Andres Iniesta. I'm glad my pre-Cup prediction came true, although I am astonished by how few goals Spain scored to make it come true — only 8 goals!

Whose World? What Cup? (Day 23)

Tonight the team I support, Spain, meets the team I wished I supported, Germany. Either way, it's an invitation to heartbreak. I can only hope it turns out to be an interesting one and not one of those penalty-kick farces after a 0-0 scoreline after extra time.

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Well, that first half was mostly like watching two sponges try to waterboard each other. Spain was more self-possessed, I suppose. Germany was just... dispossessed?

I think that the Spaniards looked less dangerous than usual when it came to finishing. Their possession made them seem more dangerous; after all, if you don't have the ball, you can't score and you can't win.

By the end of the half, I felt as if I were watching a particularly dangerous fractional distillation in which the temperature was being raised by about a tenth of a degree every minute.

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And in the 73rd minute, it's Puyol who scores, from a scarce-contested header. About par for the course so far.

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Haha, I've been telling people I support Spain, with a rather pained and apologetic look. No more. They're through and into the Final! 1-0! Viva España! Vivat Hispania!

Whose World? What Cup? (Day 21)

It was a day which some punningly-minded might call 'Angela's Miracle' after the dumpy German leader who supported her team so actively. The German team, cohesive and deliberately lacking in individual personalities, trounced Diego Maradona's selection 4-0 within 90 minutes.

You will note a complete lack of elaboration, as compared to my notes of the previous match. I spent the entire time taking in the sight of an exciting (yes, indeed) German team demolish a team that tried very hard and ended up doing very little. When Germany beat England 4-1, there were a few isolated cries of how the England defeat might be explained away by a referee's bad call. Tonight, it was clear that die Mannschaft were a far superior outfit to the Albiceleste.

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Now, I head off, suitably fortified by hot blackcurrant tea and supper, to watch Spain play Paraguay. I am more certain that Spain will win than I was that Germany would manage to get rid of the Argentines. I might be wrong, and that thought makes me grin.

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Before the World Cup started, I was rooting for Spain to finally throw off the mantle of chronic underachievement and at least end up in the grand final. After 45 minutes tonight, I don't see them as much better than a rather uncreative Paraguay side. Both teams have been exchanging a lack of possession. The passing stinks and they can't hang on to the ball.

Based on this game so far, the winner will meet Germany in the next round and get killed 4-0. I just can't see Germany not taking advantage of the generosity of these two teams of clowns.

Spain, in particular, is still playing a certain Fernando Torres up front who looks like a particularly pained ghost. He's useless, and has been useless so far throughout the entire World Cup. Unpicking the Paraguayan defence requires accurate passing and more creativity. Perhaps they should have started with Cesc Fabregas and Fernando Llorente instead.

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Now I really have seen it all. From trading lack-of-possession, the two teams have gone on to the sublime heights of trading lack-of-penalties.

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Well, Spain are through. I'm happy for them, but not happy with them. They'll never get past Germany at this rate, and I'm not sure I'd want them to. 1-0 to David Villa!

Whose World? What Cup? (Day 19a)

I have been waiting for this rematch since 7 June 1494. Actually, apart from obscure Asian historians, who had cause to worry about its provisions, and the Argentines, who once invoked it in the little matter of Los Malvinas (also known as the Falklands), not many others in recent centuries have thought of the great old treaty signed on that day.

For on 7 June 1494, slightly more than 516 years ago, Spain and Portugal divided the world between them. And tonight, in a very different way, they will battle for supremacy, with only one winner between them.

But apart from tonight's fracas and the linguistic legacy (mostly) of South America, let's face it: Portugal is no longer a world power of any sort. We might think of East Timor, Macao, and even if we were exceptionally historical in our literacy, Goa and Melaka — but hey, Portugal, not one of the great powers any more. And yet, the Portuguese did have an empire once.

I'm rooting for Spain, the more enduring imperial power of the two, tonight. But not because of political reasons — rather, I can't stand that talented but irritating Cristiano Ronaldo; I much prefer the many talents of Spain.

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To be honest, the Spain that I admire seems a lot less creative than Brazil, a lot less skilled than Argentina, a lot less coherent than Germany. They're not unpicking Portugal and have come very close to being completely undone by them. At half-time, the score is 0-0; while it's been a lot more exciting than the previous match, it's not been more productive.

I think I am about to join in the usual malaise of Spain-supporters: a kind of exuberant disappointment.

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It ended when David Villa scored (yet again) to make it 1-0. Then it petered out into the usual disinterested pottering around. The new striker Fernando Llorente looked distinctly bored but, trying hard to pretend that he was involved, could have scored twice more.

And so Spain remain, promising more joy, and possibly, more disappointment.

Whose World? What Cup? (Day 15a)

At half-time, Spain are leading Chile by two goals to nil. I can't decide what's up with the Mexican referee. He seems fairly biased. By which I mean, he is biased in direct proportion to the misdemeanour level of each team. There is no doubt Chile are more violent and less good at the well-timed challenge, so the referee has been overpenalizing them accordingly — one man sent off and something like 16 free kicks against, but only two other yellow cards besides those that got the unfortunate Estrada to take the long walk.

Play has been mixed. Spain were noticeably bad at first, until David Villa's lovely long volley scored. Then they got better. Torres is still a passenger, but one who is drawing markers away. Chile look good, but they seem over-enthusiastic, leading to shots too high or long, and tackles too late or badly aimed.

Meanwhile, the other match is just that. Both teams seem only to be making up the numbers. The Swiss have seemed functional but not more; the Hondurans are... more interested in preventing the Swiss from advancing than playing for a win. Maybe it's all a Spanish conspiracy.

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And so, both Chile and Spain are through. Chile pulled one back. I have to say that Cesc Fabregas looks like an incipient midfield general for his country. He is much better at the one-touch stuff and setting his colleagues up for opportunities than the other talent on display. He is also very hard to keep track of — one doesn't know if he's tracked back as a defensive midfielder, surged forward into the hole, decided to pretend he's a winger, whatever.

There we have it. Brazil play Chile and Portugal play Spain. How very tasty...

Whose World? What Cup? (Day 15)

This will be an interesting evening. The Hermit Kingdom, boasting a national anthem called The Patriotic Song, will face Côte d'Ivoire, whose national anthem is the Song of Abidjan (which used to be their capital, the 4th largest Francophone city on earth, with a population of about 5,000,000). Only the Ivorians can qualify, but they'll need to beat the tough Patriotic Hermits by a large margin.

Meanwhile, I will probably spend a lot more time watching the other match, between Brazil and their former colonial masters, Portugal. The Portuguese have fond memories of Brazil and all the loot they got out of that great nation. The Brazilians pretend not to have any memories at all. I'll just note here that my not-so-distant ancestors came from the former Portuguese colony of Melaka.

Later on, Spain meet Chile (a similar story to Portugal-Brazil, historically), while Switzerland meet the Honduras. Basically, both Spain and Switzerland need to win. It is all too possible that Chile and Switzerland will qualify and Spain will be a third great European footballing nation to get dumped (unless the really unlikely has already happened and Portugal were dumped first).

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Well, even though Côte d'Ivoire is leading North Korea 2-0 at half-time, the 0-0 deadlock of Portugal (in red) and Brazil (in yellow) looks like letting both through to the next round. Unless we see more red and yellow. It's a vicious game. Or at the very least, full of ill-judged behaviour.

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Seven yellow cards and 24 fouls later... we're still waiting for a goal at Brazil-Portugal. It has just struck me that there's a very high chance of us seeing two matches between a Portuguese-speaking (Portaphone?) team and a Spanish-speaking one in the next round. The languages are basically regional dialects, but the Castilian hegemony won out (unless you ask a Catalan).

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Final scores 3-0 to the Ivorians and a deathly 0-0 at the 'Match of the Day'. Ha! So Brazil top the group, Portugal are second; it is likely we'll see Portugal play Chile and Brazil play Spain. If it's Brazil v Switzerland instead, I shall laugh my socks off.

Whose World? What Cup? (Day 11a)

I've watched a match in which a card-happy ref gave out something like eight yellow cards and a red. The red went to the Swiss, and they ended the game down one man and down one goal against Chile. It was hard to tell who was redder or crosser.

Switzerland after the sending-off had this amazing 4-4-1-0 that appeared to be 6-3-0-0 at times. I swear I saw a flat back six. But somehow, everyone fell asleep! First time I'd seen Switzerland bore themselves to sleep, and then try to wake up. It didn't work.

The next match is between Spain and the Honduras. Spain must win. The question is whether they can or not. They always come in looking like champions and more often than not have problems along the way proving it. I think the player who most epitomizes Spain is Cesc Fabregas. He is dynamic, creative, active, and sometimes just short of a match winner when it counts.

We'll see.

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David Villa and Jesus Navas are probably the standout performers for Spain this first half; a goal from the former has given Spain a 1-0 lead. However, there have been a lot of free drama performances by some excellent actors, as well as genuine acts of petty stupidity that deserve to have been punished by the ref but weren't. Everybody here has a Latin temperament, it seems.

And it ends 2-0. That Villa guy? Scored the second and missed a penalty. Spain was profligate; if they had stuck to their guns, if the Torres had been more alert, they could have done a 7-0 like Portugal. As it is, they shouldn't be satisfied with their little victory.

Whose World? What Cup? (Day 06)

Tonight's entertainment starred Chile and Honduras. Most people would bill this as a clash between two South American sides, if you had to choose continents. I think of the Republic of Honduras (formerly Spanish Honduras) as a North American country, however. This is because anything north of the Panama Canal (and including Panama itself) should be considered 'North America' — after all, that's where they cut through the narrow umbilical that connects the huge mass of South America to its northern counterpart.

The capital of Honduras (which means 'depths' in Spanish) has that lovely name Tegucigalpa, which sounds Mayan to me, and which I've always thought was pronounced 'de Gucci gal pa'. But who knows what the Spanish have done with that?

Meanwhile, the capital of Chile is Santiago, which is Spanish for 'St James'. It's also the battle-cry of the Reconquista, in full, "Santiago y cierra España!" — "St James and strike for Spain!" Yes, St James, one of the legendary sons of Thunder, is indeed the patron saint of Spain.

Scoreline: 1-0, "Santiago!" Yet another entertainment-with-low-score episode. I hope Spain, playing in 15 minutes' time, is a lot better.

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Haha. The disciples of Zwingli beat the hidalgos 1-0 after a terrible goalmouth scramble. Spain were interesting but not good. All the possession, but not self-possession enough to either stop the Swiss machine on its rare attacks or break their defence, which was traditionally resolute. Oh well. "Santiago!" It will be silly but normal if we don't see Spain in the grand final.

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And on a third Hispanophile note, Uruguay 1-0 so far against South Africa? Two endlessly-running sides separated by one Forlan's distant strike of beauty. Ah, the beautiful game...