Whose World? What Cup? (Day 24)

And here we come to the dark alleyway of the 2010 World Cup. No, it's not one of the early spin-off side-dramas of those who fell by the wayside; it's the late, slack, near-forgotten drama of who gets to come in third place — whether the cheating Uruguayans or escheating Germans.

So here I am, waiting for this non-show. But I dearly want to see the Germans beat up the Uruguayans, metaphorically speaking. I am so unregenerate at times. Sigh.

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When Thomas Müller nudged the ball gently into the net, I had high hopes. There has been a lot of ebb and flow since then, and Edison Cavani has equalized. I suppose I should be thankful it wasn't that Suarez fellow. 1-1 at half-time, then.

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At full time, the score is 3-2 to Germany. They didn't play as well as Uruguay most of the time, but they played much better some of the time — especially when it counted. I felt a little sorry for Diego Forlan; he hit the crossbar with the last strike of the game. Too bad.

Whose World? What Cup? (Day 22)

So it has come down to the Netherlands meeting Uruguay in the first semi-final of the 2010 World Cup. It is like watching a polished and wary assassin fighting for his life against a skilled street fighter who will do anything to win. The do-or-die heroism implicit in both can turn ugly—for both.

I have an instinctive preference for the Oranje tonight. They've cheated less. I wonder if Robben's hoods will leave Diego forlorn.

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And in the 17th minute, Giovanni von Bronckhorst, of ALL people, scores a long-range strike a la David Villa. 1-0 to the Orangemen!

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In the 40th minute, Diego Forlan, surely in the form of his life, equalises with a long-range up-the-middle shot. Stekelenburg is caught flat-footed by the power and slight rightward curve on the shot. 1-1, and this is shaping up into a tight fight...

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At half-time, I still think Uruguay are marginally dirtier and more reckless. But they're dangerous. They are, after all, the last South American team from a federation in which the lowest-ranked team (Peru, I think) is about #55 worldwide.

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A lot of weaving and ducking, with Forlan firing on all cylinders. But it's Wesley Sneijder who pulls the trigger in the 69th minute, after a wave of dangerous Oranje attacks. 2-1 to the Dutch, and perhaps more to come, at this rate.

Ha, I had just typed the previous line when Robben made it 3-1. Looks like the assassin beats the street-fighter tonight...

Maxi makes it 3-2, but the Dutch are through! Maybe it will be Dutch vs Deutsch. Heh.

Whose World? What Cup? (Day 20a)

Ghana v Uruguay. A lot like Japan v Paraguay. Industrious non-South American non-European side meets South American side. Penalties decide in favour of the South American side, who didn't really deserve to win.

But it's just like the little pigs fairy-tale: no matter how hard you huff and puff, it doesn't matter unless you can blow the house down. And neither Japan nor Ghana were able to.

I feel bad for Ghana. But hey, if your star striker is presented with a penalty in the last minute of extra time, and he MISSES, well, you don't deserve to win either. And for the neutrals, at least the buccaneering Diego Forlan is still around for the next round, the one classy bit in Uruguay, apart from his co-conspirator Suarez.

Whose World? What Cup? (Day 19)

Japan in blue play Paraguay in red and white. It's just one of those days at the office, so to speak. 20 minutes into the game, the Japanese are still defending as a unit, attacking as a unit, and doing those well-trained longshot things.

I don't know why I'm watching this one when I might need the sleep to prepare myself for Spain v Portugal later. But still, whichever team wins this one, it will be their first time in the quarter-finals. Some sort of historical moment.

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Note: How does one distinguish between Uruguay and Paraguay? You could do it the geography-lesson way or you could just remember this: Uruguay has Diego Forlan and Paraguay has Roque Santa Cruz. Both are excellent creative forwards who haven't done so well in the Premier League. Santa Cruz has done better though.

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I'm wondering whether Marcus Tulio Tanaka is named after Marcus Tullio Cicero. Somehow, finding this out has become more important to me than watching the match. And MTT is such a swashbuckling samurai-looking fellow too. I bet he'd be good as a Japanese statesman some day.

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It's 0-0 at full-time. It is like watching jelly set. But with less anticipation.

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Note: Much later, it appears the Paraguayans won on penalties, 5-3. So much for the Asian contingent this year. Heh.

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Late update: Yes, he was named after Cicero. He has a Japanese-Brazilian father and an Italian-Brazilian mother! In fact, his full name is Marcus Túlio Amos Murzani Tanaka. Wow.

Whose World? What Cup? (Day 16)

Day 16 already? Uruguay are playing South Korea in the first round-of-16 match, and my visceral responses at half-time are a) after 5 minutes, I know that the Koreans are just slightly not as good as the Japanese when taking free kicks; b) after 10 minutes, I think that the Uruguayans are having it too easy; c) after 20 minutes, I think that they are all settling down for the second half.

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Yes, the Koreans were like a team possessed in the second half. And a cracker of an equalizer after an hour or so. From a free kick. Then Suarez popped up a second time and it was game over despite everything else. Not so bad, all round.

Whose World? What Cup? (Day 12)

Just yesterday I was mulling over Dale Johnson's article on how each team might yet qualify for the next round of the World Cup. What caught my eye was the suggestion that South Africa might yet qualify if the unlikely happened — say if they beat France 3-0 and either Uruguay or Mexico won in their match together.

Half an hour after these matches started, France is trailing 1-0 and have had a man (Gourcuff) sent off for violent elbow use. How interesting...

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37 minutes and a few more South African attempts later, Mphela has scored to make it 2-0 and they've also had an attempt denied for being offside. You can sense the electricity in Bloemfontein. It is almost as if every one of the lighting towers is a Tesla cannon.

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Uruguay (population about 3m) is leading Mexico 1-0 now. The plot thickens...

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...and then thins, as first South Africa concede a goal and then Mexico holds Uruguay to 1-0. A good outing though, from South Africa. The dream almost became reality. Mexico go through, probably to face Argentina. Uruguay will face the runners-up from Group B. We'll know more in a few hours' time.

Whose World? What Cup? (Day 06a)

It was not the first time the Swiss have kept their enemies at bay and triumphed through force of arms. Most people forget that the Swiss dominated Europe in the Middle Ages, fielding the largest and most technically trained army. For about 500 years now, Swiss mercenaries have been in high demand as specialists and valuable commodities.

And last evening, they scrambled one past the Spaniards and held on for an historic 1-0 victory in South Africa. Perhaps the CH on their car plates ('Confoederatio Helvetica') will some day also stand for 'Championship Holders'. A Swiss dream, perhaps? Who knows, in this odd iteration of the World Cup.

Later, Uruguay walloped the hosts 3-0 after South Africa had goalkeeper Khune sent off (I think it was harsh; a striker tripped over his stationary boot). Yes, it was mostly about Diego Forlan, as expected. Uruguay would have looked dangerous but not lethal without him.

At least some things are getting interesting.

Whose World? What Cup? (Day 06)

Tonight's entertainment starred Chile and Honduras. Most people would bill this as a clash between two South American sides, if you had to choose continents. I think of the Republic of Honduras (formerly Spanish Honduras) as a North American country, however. This is because anything north of the Panama Canal (and including Panama itself) should be considered 'North America' — after all, that's where they cut through the narrow umbilical that connects the huge mass of South America to its northern counterpart.

The capital of Honduras (which means 'depths' in Spanish) has that lovely name Tegucigalpa, which sounds Mayan to me, and which I've always thought was pronounced 'de Gucci gal pa'. But who knows what the Spanish have done with that?

Meanwhile, the capital of Chile is Santiago, which is Spanish for 'St James'. It's also the battle-cry of the Reconquista, in full, "Santiago y cierra España!" — "St James and strike for Spain!" Yes, St James, one of the legendary sons of Thunder, is indeed the patron saint of Spain.

Scoreline: 1-0, "Santiago!" Yet another entertainment-with-low-score episode. I hope Spain, playing in 15 minutes' time, is a lot better.

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Haha. The disciples of Zwingli beat the hidalgos 1-0 after a terrible goalmouth scramble. Spain were interesting but not good. All the possession, but not self-possession enough to either stop the Swiss machine on its rare attacks or break their defence, which was traditionally resolute. Oh well. "Santiago!" It will be silly but normal if we don't see Spain in the grand final.

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And on a third Hispanophile note, Uruguay 1-0 so far against South Africa? Two endlessly-running sides separated by one Forlan's distant strike of beauty. Ah, the beautiful game...

Whose World? What Cup? (Day 04a)

I'm watching Paraguay holding a 1-0 lead over Italy at half time, which brings us to the only question that is trickier than the difference between Slovakia and Slovenia: "What's the difference between Uruguay and Paraguay?"

The Oriental Republic of Uruguay is a state existing entirely on the Eastern (hence, 'Oriental') bank of the Uruguay ('birds on the water') River. The land border on the other sides of Uruguay is with Brazil. Its motto is Libertad o Muerte, 'Liberty or Death'.

The Republic of Paraguay is a state some distance to the north of Uruguay, with the Paraguay ('many waters') River running through it. It has Argentina to its south, Brazil to its east, and Bolivia to its northwest. Its motto is Paz y Justicia, 'Peace and Justice'.

I guess there must be quite a bit of difference between the two. Uruguay has a sea coast, with the Atlantic to its southeast; Paraguay is landlocked, the heart of South America, in a way. Uruguay's capital is Montevideo ('Mountain View') while Paraguay's capital is Asuncion ('Ascension'). Paraguay has a 95% mixed Latino/Native (Mestizo) population, while Uruguay is about 90% white.

And at this World Cup, I think Paraguay is at the moment being slightly more successful...

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Italy has just equalised through Daniele De Rossi, one of the three Italian players I think of as possibly the future of Italy's team. The other two are Giorgio Chiellini and Marco Balotelli. Sadly, the last-named, being of highly incendiary temperament, isn't at the World Cup this year.