Adventitious Carols 5: Little Drama Boy

so they told me ka-ching-a-ching-ching
just for the matinee ka-ching-a-ching-ching
just get out there and act ka-ching-a-ching-ching
does not need skill or tact ka-ching-a-ching-ching
ching-a-ching-ching ching-a-ching-ching

mortified i am ka-ching-a-ching-ching
bad lines and bling

Adventitious Carols 4: Wee Streakings

wee streakings upon toilet wall
bearing grease and things that appall
filthy fountains
smelly mountains
best not be born in a stall

Adventitious Carols 3: The Army and the Navy

the army and the navy
when they are both full blown
of all the branches up in the wood
the air force plays the clown

o the rising of the sun
and the setting of the moon
somewhere round christmas time
people wake up around noon

the army bears the title
the navy's all at sea
always looking down upon the wood
the air force up a tree

Adventitious Carols 2: O Little Town

o little town of santa's claw
how stale we see delight
thou buildeth tall
the sky-high wall
against the fall of night

still in thy dark sleep shineth
the evanescent sight
of happiness, prosperity
and progress all despite

Fallen Wyverns

Oh, my audacious friends! You have now embarked on a journey into the dark and rather wonderful world of the bizarre. I will not inflict upon you another game of considerably more wonderful and amazing content, but an entertainment that you will enjoy once you have learnt to see it for what it is. There may even be Abstractions!

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And so, we begin the last part of this particular leg of the long history of the Citadel. For 125 years, shifting from place to place, it has gone from strength to strength and undergone trial by fire, sword and bad administration. The endgame is in sight for this round.

But first, there will be words from our sponsors. And unfortunately, the hoped-for end is still quite a while off.

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Join us for a tour of the New Towers! What ghastly horrors lie buried in the Room with the Balcony? Is there a Beast that Haunts the Circus by Night? What hallucinogenic mushrooms are mixed into the Friendly Yoghurt-Seller's concoctions? All will be made clear in time. Cheers to all our watchful, persuasive, dangerous and shadowy friends!

Waffling

Some time ago, I found myself reading something like this:

Waffles are, in essence, breakfast. Among the early scholars of the waffle industry are many who later played key roles in breakfast menu construction. The movers, shapers and architects of modern breakfast include clown hero Ronald M and various assorted expensive cafés where they charge five bucks for a shot of joe. They all have one thing in common, the capacity to spawn unlimited copies. That is why when you visit Atlantis, the natives look at you and say, "Let's go to a 'copy time' for breakfast."

To be a waffle has been a dream of many breakfasts. Those privileged enough to be one know that they carry with them a sense of butteriness, occasionally tinged with cinnamon or blueberry essence. To be a waffle means having the 'dare' to bread an unbeaten egg. To be a waffle is to be a carbohydrate source, a fat resource, a way of life.

In an advanced breakfast shop, we work hard at harnessing the best resources available to nurture breakfasts which have fresh eggs, butter and dough. We want our waffles to be strong in their basic stuff, so that when you apply condiments across them they will not crumble but remain relatively crisp. We want our waffles be pursued relentlessly and inspire in others the passion to create something new. We want them to be curious and peculiar, filled with hidden insights and ingredients. We want our waffles to show courage and fortitude in the face of challenging customers, to go down well with other foods, and invite empathy and a genuine respect (even from those whose views on breakfast, cultures and backgrounds differ).

In an advanced breakfast shop, we aim at making our breakfasts not just a good experience but a remarkable one. The stuff that we have extracted, the comprehensive combinations that we have designed, are meant to give breakfasts with diverse strengths, interests and aspirations pathways to digestion which they are best at. Breakfasts come with menus to help navigate the challenging and complex contexts of today. They are exposed to industry and leaders of industry to help them understand what it takes to be successful. They have many opportunities to learn to be served to the community and understand the qualities that make a waffle great.

This is our way of ensuring that waffles continue to embody the hope of a better age. Journey with us and feel your arteries respond to waffles.

No, I didn't quite believe it either.

Mandoon

Kröd Mändoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire has got to be one of the funniest things around right now. It needs to be made into a DVD quick so that you can get all the juicy goodness in ONE package. For at the moment, it is YouTube which is hosting most of it. Probably illegally.

This show is all about a hero. And his kinky girlfriend. And his malfunctioning warlock other friend. And the big oafish Journey to the West kind of servant friend who hits the wrong people with his weapon. And so on. It is otherwise hard to describe, unless you like snorting food.

In other news, not so funny at all, there's been an outbreak of swine flu, this season's version of SARS. I remember writing this huge document on contagious disease protocols in a boarding school setting back in 2003. Somewhere out there, someone probably ought to be dusting it off and looking at it soon.

$FF: A Node To Autumn

This verse in solemn memory of John Keats
In case he turns beneath the island streets.

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Today we write about this island land.
We write and write until we understand
About white men and whiter who have planned
Our island destiny carved out from sand,
Our chaos mastered by a single brand
Controlled by some clever doctrinal gland.
Now we have found the many rhymes with 'and'
Let us restart and do the work at hand.

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We live within the tropic zone of heat
Where seasons blend into a single haze
Neither too cold nor comfortably neat;
Seasonless we, unseasoned all our days.

Sometimes it rains; this too we must endure,
Our iron rusts beneath the wet abuse.
Such times it spawns within the deep verdure
The fragrant stench of enervate refuse.

Most times it chunders on in blissful damp
Neither like hell nor purgatorial friend;
Life here does not impose too great a cramp
Upon the lifestyles which we do subtend.

We have descent from proud Oriental line,
Our fathers wrought from coolie status this:
A pleasure-dome of rigorous design
Which shows what was, and can be, also is.

And ending here we must defy the odds
To mention not as most parochials would
Some tribute mighty to the leeward gods
Who from our fathers took what praise they could.

Long Black

We scent the essence of the bean
The deep and watered and unseen
The fragrance rises like the light
In space and time and all between

Its bitter memory burns bright
And fades into the west at night
A sunset tingle in the mind
A dancer at the edge of sight

Here rest we from the daily grind
And blessèd solace also find
Before the sweet embrace of sleep
Is mercifully undermined

For we have work that will not keep
And bills to pay which are not cheap
And all these things will yet demean
The mortal coil, the human deep.