Empire

I remember the day it all went pear-shaped, although I did not want to believe it at that time. I sat before the man who had not recruited me, although he had certainly employed me. He had recently maligned his predecessor in public, and was now accusing me of empire-building. I remember feeling bemused; I had no idea such a thing was going on, or that such a thing was in his vocabulary, or that I was engaged in any way in any activity that could be construed as such.

This was many years ago. At that time, my lawyers and my friends said that I should leave. How could I work for such a person? And my Bible reading, today as it was all those years ago, was from the first chapter of Exodus. That word exodus of course means 'the way out' or 'leaving' in Greek. But I persevered. After all, I have never seen myself as a Moses contending against a Pharaoh. I am no Moses; my then-boss is no Pharaoh.

But how on Earth had I been empire-building? I knew nothing of it then, but I am beginning to suspect certain things as I gaze back upon Egypt with a stranger's eye.

The big ideas are the dangerous ones. They build an empire of the mind, which endures and ingrains itself within the bones of men. If you have a big idea, you are an empire-builder. And those with the smaller ideas will fear you. In the lecture I used to give every year on the nature of the scientific paradigm (how it both leads and misleads), I actually likened ideas to weapons in a war of paradigms. Sometimes, both sides can use an idea; sometimes, an idea only fits into the paradigm for one side.

Where I had gone wrong was this. I had neglected the iron discipline of a man under orders. As a lowly foot-soldier (or even a sergeant-at-arms), I should never have forgotten a few rules. To paraphrase Orson Scott Card (in his book, aptly enough entitled Empire), one should be able to stand in the same room as others with lesser ideas and say nothing, show nothing. One should be able to withhold threat or the appearance of threat when one is not intending a threat. In fact, the only thing I seem to have remembered was from Grimwood: "Never show surprise, never show fear, never even pretend to take anything seriously."

Well, now I need the discipline of a ronin, a mercenary soldier who yet adheres to a warrior code. And I am still not an empire-builder, although I must confess that the big ideas and the grand sweep of things are still in my mind. Some day, I would like to see the large ideas worked out in reality, upon the great foundation was established so long ago, to the glory of God the Father.