Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves...

And other such lawless characters, I suppose. This is of course the title of Cher's hit song first sung (I think) in the 1970s, although my memory is, understandably, a bit hazy. But I heard it tonight on the radio, and something made me think of my schooldays.

I've written before about what people call 'attention deficit hyperactivity disorder'. Yes, I do suffer from it. According to DSM-IV-TR, that venerable and interesting tome in which you may find any form of mental oddness known to American humanity, I have ADHD – Predominantly Inattentive Type. ADHD-PIT. Dear me. Of course, it was worse when I was younger and suffered from every one of the symptoms listed.

But what are the symptoms I suffer from? I suffer from all nine of the symptoms listed in Part A:

• does not give close attention to details and/or makes careless mistakes
• has trouble keeping attention on tasks – yes, I have been known to fall asleep in meetings that are not stimulating my brain
• often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly – yes, I've had to work on that, which is why I tend to stare deliberately at people who are talking to me
• often does not follow instructions and fails to finish schoolwork, chores, or duties in the workplace (not due to oppositional behavior or failure to understand instructions) – I'm notorious for this
• often has trouble organizing activities – which is why one should always marry a spouse who can
• often avoids, dislikes, or doesn't want to do things that take a lot of mental effort for a long period of time (such as schoolwork or homework) – heh, probably why I find it repugnant to inflict homework on people
• often loses things needed for tasks and activities (e.g. toys, school assignments, pencils, books, or tools) – hence the need for shelves and organisers and spreadsheets and catalogues
• is often easily distracted
• is often forgetful in daily activities

Basically, I get bored easily. Tremendously, mind-numbingly bored. It has taken me 30 years to learn how to pay attention to people, and I still fall asleep in meetings. I even suffer from a few of the symptoms in Part B (as some of you know).

What does living with ADHD mean? Well, it's relatively easy to deal with through behavioural and pharmacological therapies (hence my interest in both). Most pharmacological therapy uses stimulants. I've found caffeine useful, and doctors have used amphetamines. The thing about stimulants is that they focus the mind, making it easier for the ADHD sufferer to pay attention in class and in general act normal. It doesn't make them much more physically 'hyper'.

And now we come to the controversial part: behavioural therapy. Well, everytime I was naughty I was caned. It made me very nimble, and more circumspect in my actions. The thing is that I wasn't beaten gratuitously, but enough to keep me focussed and aware of wrongdoing. When I got old enough to understand things, I learnt a few useful behaviours:

• look at people who are talking to you
• when you think people are boring you, do math in your head
• smile a lot
• sit down until you have written something or done one unit of work
• organise things in boxes and with labels
• write down lists of things to do and to buy (etc)

And so on. Very useful. I think the most important point for me is that ADHD could be beaten. I still took five years to complete my Master's degree (excuse: it was done part-time, haha), but I remember that in June 1999, just before the deadline, I wrote 30000 words in four days.

What does living with ADHD not mean? I learnt early on that being an ADHD sufferer was not a license to be rude, disruptive, violent, or discourteous. I was trained that way, with firm admonition and a few sharp strokes which marked but did not bruise me. These days, we tend to shy away from the 'hard' part of training, preferring to educate in some soft and human-respecting style. I think we should respect the fact that hard training, severe counsel, and pain are all important for the proper development of the individual. I learnt that way, and it made me better than I might have been.

Which brings me back to Cher, and Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves. Here's the refrain to that song:

Gypsies, tramps, and thieves
We'd hear it from the people of the town
They'd call us gypsies, tramps, and thieves
But every night all the men would come around
And lay their money down

As a student, I was called many things when young. 'Rogue' would probably have been one of the kinder and more decorous ones. I was a terribly disruptive kid in primary school. I was passive-aggressive from 12-13, then weird thereafter. I learned to restrain a tendency to violence by 15. After that, I think I was old enough to not show it, and having an effective brain was a bonus that helped me to disguise my inability to do work.

But for all you ADHD sufferers out there, just bear in mind: I was a hopeless student until I was about 30 years old. No wonder the Jews insist that manhood begins then. There is hope yet. All you have to do is work for it.