Friday, September 03, 2010

Emerging Disquisitions

The stuff the young people say is the usual stuff. It is fueled by frantic hormones and raging culture-savviness; genes and memes. It is the frenetic commentary of the young when faced by the tipping-point of the pendulum. You see, the older ones have seen the pendulum swing from A to B and back again; some older than that have seen this happen more than once. But the young have seen only the pendulum swing towards its nadir and twitch up again, and marvel at the change in direction.

Let me tell you a story.


Once upon a time, there was a charming prince. His name was Sundark Anthony. He wasn't very handsome, but he was fabulously wealthy, and he was incredibly smart. And the thought came to him one year, as thoughts sometimes do, telling him, "Hey, why not make places where the rich, smart people (like yourself) can learn to be princes?"

But this was Atlantis, and Atlanteans need reasons. And statistics. And study committees, if possible. So the prince got his people together, and they had all these things, and they went to faraway places to collect those things they didn't have, and if I were to tell you all the things they really did and the meals they ate and the words they threw out of their reports, I would never get to the end of this story.

In their final report, they said that if you had something that was good, you could tell everyone that it was good, and make a fence of goodiness (yes, goodiness) around it, and call it goody goody good. Then it would be more good than any good. You could make people pay more for such goods.

A year later, there were seven dwarfs. Actually, there were eight, and they weren't really dwarfs. But whatever they were, they shared one thing in common. There was a lady named Mo, and whatever she told them to do, they did. Each in their own way, of course, but they did it.

Two of them spoke Neo-Classical Latin, and they were the Gambler's son and daughter. One spoke only Church Latin, and his name was Joe. Two wore blue and gold, but one wore jade and gold. One wore brown, and carried a flaming book. And the last was always clad in white. Four of them were male, and four were female, for the balance had to be maintained.

And they were to be fenced around with goodiness, and they would be more good than good, and everyone would come to them to learn how to be good. For if they were good to begin with, how much more goody would they be when they had been goodified?

The years passed, and those who were good were treated as good, and their children were told they were good, and everyone saw the signs of goodiness, and said, "Good! Good!" But honestly, a good look would have told you all you needed to know about looking good.

Sundark Anthony prospered, but he was getting older, and the white streak in his dark hair was getting whiter, and his belly was broadening. He was a very nice man, and a very clever man, but he wondered a lot about why his goody goody goodies were not really as goodified as he thought they would be. And he wondered those wonderful thoughts until he finally retired to his home on the crest of the hill.

But before he left all that behind, he had some provocative words with the managers of the goody estates. Or at least, some of them. And so, goodification gave way to greatification. Into greated programmes, to be exact, with nearly instantaneous greatification too.


It is traditional to tell of wonders and youngest sons, dragons and magic swords, marvelous artifacts and flying ships, blue oceans and two-headed gryphons. However, you would never believe the whole story anyway, if I put all those things in. It is also traditional to wind the story down and say, "And they lived happily ever after." Yet I cannot bring myself to say it, because I don't think it has happened yet.

In fact, like a typical B&M case study, the eight goodies messed around a bit too much, got into bad ways, played with mergers and inquisitions, hired and fired, highered and lowered, went multinational (some say international), and in general created a story that sounded like a China that never was.


I'm done for now. But I am going to tell the story of at least some of those goodies over the next few days.

Labels: ,


Post a Comment

<< Home