May The Fours Be With You

Every time this date in the year comes round, I think apocalyptic thoughts. It's 4/4, that mystical time or timing, whether you are oriental or occidental, or purely accidental. The world divides into four ages, the apocalypse has four horseman, and the four gospels and their four evangelists are signified by four different beasts. There are four archangels, and four corners of the world and four cardinal directions and four elements of the material world.

But most of all, there were four Beatles. And once in a while I dig up the old music and go on a magical mystery tour. It is with that in mind that I present to you the lyrics to one of the few songs that was ever written deliberately to both communicate and confuse. I also indulge in a little bit of Shakespearean taming; it was an intelligent and largely pleasing session I had this morning, with you-know-who-you-are. Enjoy.

I am He as You are He as You are Me
And We are all together
See how they run like pigs from a gun
See how they fly
I'm crying
Sitting on a cornflake
Waiting for the van to come
Corporation T-Shirt
Stupid Bloody Tuesday
Man, you been a naughty boy
You let your face grow long

Chorus:
I am the Eggman
They are the Eggmen
I am the Walrus
GOO GOO GA JOOB

Mr. City Policeman
Sitting pretty little policemen in a row
See how they fly
Like Lucy in the sky
See how they run
I'm Crying
I'm Crying
I'm Crying
I'm Crying
Yellow matter custard
Dripping from a dead dog's eye
Crabalocker fishwife
Pornographic Priestess
Boy, you've been a naughty girl
You let your knickers down

(Chorus)

Sitting in an English garden
Waiting for the sun
If the sun don't come
You'll get a tan from
Standing in the English Rain

(Chorus)

Expert Texpert
Choking smokers
Don't you think the Joker
Laughs at You?
Ho-Ho-Ho-Hee-Hee-Hee-Ha-Ha-HA!
See how they smile
Like pigs in a sty
See how they snide
I'm Crying
Semolina Pilchard
Climbing up the Eiffel Tower
Elementary Penguin
Singing Hare Krishna
Man you shoulda seen them
Kicking Edgar Allen Poe

(Chorus)

(Oompah, oompah stick in your jumper!
Everyone has one, everybody has one!)

If you listen carefully to the whole song, you'll hear a lot more random stuff and even a few lines from King Lear...