Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Work Appraisal (Part 1)

It is the time of the annual inquisition. The hooded magistrates wait, seated at the great table of judgement. The bailiffs stand outside, heavily armed. Sir Wolff enters, beweaponed with nothing but the invisible sacramentals.

Sir Wolff, what were your duties this year?

To serve the public trust, protect the innocent, and uphold the law. To be courageous in the face of enmity, valorous in the face of jeopardy, honourable in the face of venality, determined in the face of obstinacy. To follow the faithful from beginning to end, to Jerusalem and to Antioch and to the uttermost boundaries of the face of this world. To be a shield to the defenceless, a shelter for the oppressed, a rock for the troubled, and the shadow of a mighty rock within a burning land.

Quite. And what were your duties this year as defined by the Magistratum?

To do as I am told. To serve the rule of the Order and the leadership of the Magistratum. To act in a manner consistent with professed standards of excellence as described by the rule and the leadership. To not bring opprobrium upon any member of the Magistratum, nor allow any information which might do so to be expressed in a public place.

That's better. Although the word is 'professional'. And have you fulfilled your duties?

Yes.

No, not your duties, but your duties!

Yes...

"Yes..."?

Yes.

Grand Inquisitor scribbles: "Is aware of the scope of his duties."

Sir Wolff, have you been a faithful servant to the Magistratum?

Insofar as the Magistratum exists to serve the rule and founding vision of the Order, I have borne true faith and allegiance to everything that this Order might require in the execution of duty and the preservation of its heritage.

Answer the question.

I have been both faithful and a servant to the Magistratum.

That will have to do. Are you happy?

It is my joy to maintain the faith of my ancestors and the honour of the Order.

Grand Inquisitor scribbles: "Is extremely happy in his work."

Are you satisfied with the support the Magistratum has given you this year?

Yes. I am satisfied that the support given to me by the Magistratum is the most support that the Magistratum might give.

Very good.

Grand Inquisitor scribbles: "Is greatly satisfied with Magistratum support."

Do you have any problems with the Order or your colleagues?

I am in the habit of solving my own problems and there are none I have not solved that I have tried to solve.

Grand Inquisitor scribbles: "Is a good problem solver and has no problems at all."

Do you have anything else to say?

Nothing but what I will say in the last days.

Grand Inquisitor scribbles: "The best is yet to be."

You may leave. Summon the next candidate.

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